wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
