Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
