D3 body, D1 cock
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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