I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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