im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I will be naked everywhere
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
