I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
