My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
