Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
