Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
