I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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