I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
