I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
