I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
