idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
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Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
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somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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