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• (949): View more from California

  Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder

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  25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I hope you did not try this.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA

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• (936): View more from Texas

  I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.

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  23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid

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• (305): View more from Florida

  May the power of my ass compel you!!

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks

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