We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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