he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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