I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You took a bar mat shot.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
