Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
