Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
okay pat passed out under dana's car
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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