she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
