I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
