We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
