We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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