new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize