sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
