I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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