he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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