you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
