That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize