she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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