Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
