did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
