The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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