It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
