i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I could fuck to npr.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
