I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
