My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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