dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
