i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
only you would photoshop your dick
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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