sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
