I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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