It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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