i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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