I looked at my own cervix.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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