I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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