New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
