i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so let's talk penis.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
