school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
