We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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