yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
