If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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