If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize