best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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