hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize