Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
