You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
