First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
In America we eat man semen.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
