In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
