i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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