Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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