I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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