Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
