Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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