Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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